This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
