This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
