Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
