The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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