I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize