I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
