69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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