Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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