home. puking in laundry basket.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
