New invention idea: vibrating tampons
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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