Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
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