UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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