Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I got her a Nickelback box set.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
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