The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I came so hard my ears popped.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
