You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize