so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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