Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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