If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Randomize
