the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
