you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
