...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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