Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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