So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
