I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
This can only be settled by a dance off.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Randomize
