i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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