Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Randomize