i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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