I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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