I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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