he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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