at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
