butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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