did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
