Plan B is the new Plan A
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize