I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
