Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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