he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
