He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
