called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
