Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Randomize
