There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
