i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
