I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
