I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
