She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
