Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
no. you can't hotbox the world.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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