So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
