No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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