can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
