I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Randomize
