If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
