He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Randomize
