Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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