i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I didn't notice because vodka
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
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