I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Randomize
