my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
