THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
