You can't special order awesome
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
