I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
