The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
