I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize