As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize