yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
